PAPER PROTOTYPE:

My first prototype consisted only of the poem in its most basic form: TEXT. After 5 versions of the poem were revised with the prototyping professor, I finally had my “first draft” ready.

I sent my “first draft” to 10 high school students in my target age range. 9 responded. All of them got the main message of the story, and they were able to connect the experience with their own lives, which was intended. They asked me questions that proved they were thinking about the subject more than just being an animation. One girl was able to get the “full” meaning of my poem, printed out the poem, and wrote her analyzing on the sides.

I was also able to get responses from 3 people in the age range of 40 – 50, one of them who is an English teacher. They all had different interpretations, but the feeling of the poem that was interpreted was the same: There was CHANGE in the narrative, and realization of who the main character really is in life.

SCAN OF THE IDEAL STUDENT:



15 – 18 YEAR - OLD AUDIENCE:

i. Age: 17

HEY-

I think that your poem has a lot of layers. I think it talks about life, family, school, differences, depression, self0-searching and discovery. Everyone has these problems. Even now, I can tell when people think I’m a “freak” because I’m different. It’s normal.

You made everything rhyme, and I liked that because it wasn’t like a little kid’s rhyme, but it didn’t seem like it was trying to rhyme either. It has a good flow..

Good luck with your animation.

ii. Age: 16

hi Jessica,

was this story about a prince? is it a true story? it would be cool if you based it off of a real person. there are lots of things you can say with a poem like this. i read the odyssey this year, and it kind of reminded me of it. there is one main character, and he makes a journey and finds out about himself.

the way you write isn’t hard to comprehend, and it’s not flowery either. that’s good! i'd like to see what your character looks like. i'm imagining him to be a pretty boy and innocent, and then become a cool-looking guy when he gets older! XD

thanks for sharing!


iii. Age: 18

uh it was cool. I think you need to make it clearer who the boy is, and who the guy at the end is, unless you want it to be abstract. I’m not really into aristocratic stuff, but I think he doesn’t need to be one. Lots of people feel like him. For some people, school sucks ‘cuz they can’t fit in, you know?

anyway, I think something more should have happened with the boy. It’s not traumatic enough. btw, how did he cut himself? And how did he finally realize he was ok with being different? It’s a bit unclear. Like how it rhymes, though...

peace


iv. Age: 15


jess jess!

How are you? I’m good, but school’s getting hard! I’ve been busy busy. How’s college? Art school fun?

To answer your question, I don’t normally read poems people write unless it’s for English class, you know mrs. Nickolai—she loves giving us those starter things each class. Anyways! It reminded me of my little bro! he’s such a babied little boy, it’s annoying sometimes. I got annoyed reading it because it reminded me of him—no offense! Haha! So, yeah…

It’s a good poem. I’m sure ms. Nickolai would love to read it. She’s so sweet. I think she’ll like it cuz the character changes, and you know how she likes that..

So yeah, it was nice to hear from you! Hope we get together when you come back home, k? ttyl!


v. Age: 17 ½


Jessica! You have a way with words! I felt like crying when he was miserable! Life’s so unfair sometimes! Btw, I hate religion class, so boorrrriiiinnnnnggggg. Anyway, I love how he gets to grow up and be a man. Be a man! Haha! Is there such a thing as a “kowing tree?” I thought I heard it somewhere before… oh well, can’t remember right now… aw, and he ends up loving his dad in the end…I shoudl start talking to mine more….. yeah…

Hope this was good enough! Write to me again soon—b’bye!


vi. Age: 16

YO

I DON’T LIKE HOW YOUR CHARACTER CHANGES. HE LIKE, I’M SAD, THEN HE CUTS HIMSELF (IS THAT SUICIDAL?) AND THEN HE’S LIKE ALL ZEN AND IS IN PEACE WITH EVERYTHING (WHAT’S UP WITH THAT)? SO, ARE YOU SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF? LOL. J/K.

I DON’T KNOW. HE SEEMS LIKE A NAIVE GUY WHO JUST REALIZES IT, ONE DAY. HE’S LIKE A POMPOUS DUDE WITH A WEIRD ATTITUDE ABOUT HOW TO GO ABOUT THINGS. LOL. I LOVE THE PART WHEN THE GUY THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD, THOU. LOL! I WOULD.

YEA, IT WAS AIGHT, BUT HONESTLY, I DON’T KNOW IF I WOULD’VE READ IT IF I WAS JUST PASSING BY IT. MAYBE THE GRAPHICS WILL CHANGE MY MIND? LOL.


vii. Age: 17

Hi sister.

I like poems. They help me think about life. I guess I’m saying the same for yourse too. The first thing I noticed while I was reading it was the change of the speaker(s). That was intentional, right? He grew up? But, who’s Point of View was it in the second part? His dad’s? was it his dad, or was it just a guy who he was really best friends with? His teacher? You said he was home-schooled. Or, rather, HE said he was home-schooled. I like how the mood changes too. It goes from a sadder tone to a peaceful tone. I don’t think I would’ve liked it to have a sad tone in the end. But, maybe that’s your thing? I don’t know. It was fun to read. Hope what I said helps.

viii. Age: 17

it sounds like the person in the poem feels trapped and wants to see what else there is to life. when the person actually goes out, he doesn't fit in and it's too late. he feels sad and meditates to finally realize who he is and where he fits in. the part where he sits under a tree reminds me of ghandi.


ASSESSMENT OF RESULTS (Ages 40 – 50):

i. age: 50

Hi Jess,

I'm not good at reading, but what I got from that was that he was cocky and snobbish but then when he was about to die he realized he was a human like anyone else ?

ii. age: 47

Hi Jess,

What a beautiful poem!

In summary, the message it tells me: this is about a man who finally understands who he is and accepts it.

Seems like this man was told at a young age how important he was but not why. He goes through life seeking the answer. Not finding it makes him unhappy and leaves him unsatisfied. Until one day, he discovers by accident. At that time, his purpose becomes clear. He finds meaning in his life. What used to be bad is now good. What used to be dark is now bright. He feels peace and is able to express his love for his father.

Hope this helps.

iii. age: 40

Jessica -- so sorry that I did not get back to you. I was laid up all weekend with a bad case of the flu and am finally getting to e-mail.
Your poem has beautiful imagery. I'm not sure what it means!! Here are some guesses. Is it about identity, people not feeling that their outside persona/shape fits what they feel inside. The first part might be about a young woman who feels trapped by some image of "perfection"/"blue blood" that doesn't sit right with her. The "cutting" image might be to determine what "she" is inside and she discovers not red blood, but blue??? Perhaps the cutting image reflects a lack of comfort with self, a desire to "recast" self?

Is the second part a new male character OR the female character transformed into an image/persona that "fits" better. The lightning bolt would then be a powerful transformative one. The second part of the poem seems more positive with a sense of discovery of personal identity. It seems that the closing lines reflect a "meeting of the minds" almost as if different parts of a persona are joining together. There is a "fairy-tale" wistfulness to the language as well.

I know that I am probably not even close! But, know that I enjoyed the poem very much and would love it if you could give me your perspective. Good luck finalizing your project!!

Mrs. N.